YIKES… its been quite awhile. there have been numerous times that i thought about posting something but simply forgot to or ran out of time. this one won’t be super long or deep but i hope it will be meaningful. first, a quick update: my internship with CRU has come to a close. it was really hard to think about not being with my staff team and students several times a week. but i have started a new job as a customer relations representative and i LOVE it! =) i honestly think thats the only major highlight worth sharing from the past month haha, im sure you’ll hear more later. if you follow me on pinterest you know that i obsessively pin quotes. over the next few posts i want to share a few that i’ve found particularly impactful:
never be afraid to fall apart because it’s an opportunity to rebuild yourself the way you wish you had been all along – Rae Smith
i hate that there’s getting to be this idea in society that we always have to have it all together. since when is vulnerability a sign of weakness? i believe vulnerability is a sign of strength. it takes strength to share the imperfect parts of our lives- shocker- NO ONES PERFECT. we all act like we know that but then act shocked when we find out someone has junk in their closet. as christians, we need to be willing to go against the grain, to accept people baggage and all. and too often times i think we’re the ones who are most shocked. i used this example with my bible study girls earlier in the year. when i was younger and my mom asked me to clean my room, i often just shoved everything in my closet. my room appeared clean but really i had a huge mess just waiting to spill out with a slight crack of the door. my mom wasn’t fooled by this cleaning method and neither is God. think of life as a shoebox, He can take the lid off the top and see every crack and crevice that we think we can hide our junk in. when i asked my mom for help, she would open the door and calmly help me sort through all the crap and put it in its proper home. we need to be willing to open our closet doors and let others see our crap and we need to be willing to help others sort through all the junk in their closets. God doesn’t expect us to be perfect and He can already see everything anyways so why try to hide it? so back to the quote, haha, don’t be afraid to be vulnerable, to let yourself go, fall apart. because until all the pieces are out on the floor, you can begin to be made whole again. with God’s guidance you can be formed into a masterpiece more beautiful than you were before- a clay pot can be turned into a beautiful sculpture, but first it must be willing to be broken. i’ve experienced a fair share of brokenness in my 21 years of life and i can safely say, despite knowing there’s more brokenness to come, that i have grown tremendously through the pain and have discovered parts of myself that i didn’t even know existed or hadn’t seen since i was little. and i feel more like myself than ever =)
alright. so i apologize for having been away for so long but i have just struggled with feeling passionate enough about something to write about it. finally i am all fired up again and can’t wait to share this with you! God has repeatedly been confronting me with the story in John chapter 4 of the women at the well. and when i say repeatedly, i mean A LOT- sermons, bible study, independent reading, discipleship. just about anywhere it could’ve come up, it did. and while it may be a familiar story, i would encourage you all to read it again and to make it easy i’m not gonna post the link to the verses but the whole passage =) so read through the whole thing and then i’ll share some of the things God has been teaching me through this passage.
1 Now Jesus learned that the Pharisees had heard that he was gaining and baptizing more disciples than John— 2 although in fact it was not Jesus who baptized, but his disciples. 3 So he left Judea and went back once more to Galilee.
4 Now he had to go through Samaria. 5 So he came to a town in Samaria called Sychar, near the plot of ground Jacob had given to his son Joseph. 6Jacob’s well was there, and Jesus, tired as he was from the journey, sat down by the well. It was about noon.
7 When a Samaritan woman came to draw water, Jesus said to her, “Will you give me a drink?” 8 (His disciples had gone into the town to buy food.)
9 The Samaritan woman said to him, “You are a Jew and I am a Samaritan woman. How can you ask me for a drink?” (For Jews do not associate with Samaritans.)
10 Jesus answered her, “If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water.”
11 “Sir,” the woman said, “you have nothing to draw with and the well is deep. Where can you get this living water? 12 Are you greater than our father Jacob, who gave us the well and drank from it himself, as did also his sons and his livestock?”
13 Jesus answered, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, 14but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”
15 The woman said to him, “Sir, give me this water so that I won’t get thirsty and have to keep coming here to draw water.”
16 He told her, “Go, call your husband and come back.”
17 “I have no husband,” she replied.
Jesus said to her, “You are right when you say you have no husband. 18The fact is, you have had five husbands, and the man you now have is not your husband. What you have just said is quite true.”
19 “Sir,” the woman said, “I can see that you are a prophet. 20 Our ancestors worshiped on this mountain, but you Jews claim that the place where we must worship is in Jerusalem.”
21 “Woman,” Jesus replied, “believe me, a time is coming when you will worship the Father neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem. 22 You Samaritans worship what you do not know; we worship what we do know, for salvation is from the Jews. 23 Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in the Spirit and in truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks. 24 God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in the Spirit and in truth.”
25 The woman said, “I know that Messiah” (called Christ) “is coming. When he comes, he will explain everything to us.”
26 Then Jesus declared, “I, the one speaking to you—I am he.”
27 Just then his disciples returned and were surprised to find him talking with a woman. But no one asked, “What do you want?” or “Why are you talking with her?”
28 Then, leaving her water jar, the woman went back to the town and said to the people, 29 “Come, see a man who told me everything I ever did. Could this be the Messiah?” 30 They came out of the town and made their way toward him.
31 Meanwhile his disciples urged him, “Rabbi, eat something.”
32 But he said to them, “I have food to eat that you know nothing about.”
33 Then his disciples said to each other, “Could someone have brought him food?”
34 “My food,” said Jesus, “is to do the will of him who sent me and to finish his work. 35 Don’t you have a saying, ‘It’s still four months until harvest’? I tell you, open your eyes and look at the fields! They are ripe for harvest. 36 Even now the one who reaps draws a wage and harvests a crop for eternal life, so that the sower and the reaper may be glad together. 37Thus the saying ‘One sows and another reaps’ is true. 38 I sent you to reap what you have not worked for. Others have done the hard work, and you have reaped the benefits of their labor.” (biblegateway.com)
wow. okay i know that was a lot to read but this passage is just SO rich. there are three things
1) Jesus sought out the lowest of the low: Samaritans and Jews did not associate and Jesus took the time to not only talk to a Samaritan but a woman and not just any woman- this woman had been married 5 times and was living with another man; a woman at the well at midday because she was outcast from society. Matt Mikalatos said this at Big Break 2012- “light shines brightest in the dark”. how often do we get so comfortable in our little Christian circles that we forget about those who don’t know the power of His saving grace? and even when we do venture out to share the love of Christ we can look at people and find ourselves thinking, “oh that person would never want to hear about Jesus”- i know i have thought that before, when in reality that is the person Jesus would make a beeline for. i want to love others like Christ, and Christ’s love doesn’t discriminate.
2) Jesus offers us living water: we are all at different places in our spiritual journeys and the image of water is a great reminder of where we are being fed.
living water: walking closely with the Lord, experiencing Him for ourselves
well: walking with the Lord but it is difficult and challenging to feel connected to Him
cistern: receiving others run-off, being poured into by other believers but not necessarily seeking God on your own
broken cistern: simply fed by the 30 minute sermon every Sunday, being filled then as the week goes on- the water slowly trickles out until there is nothing left
desert: those who don’t have any relationship with Christ whatsoever
where are you being fed? are you satisfied in your walk with the Lord? its not that being a cistern or well is bad, but when the Savior is offering you living water- how could you turn that down? i don’t want to be satisfied with a cistern or a well, i want to continually seek after the living water that only the Lord can provide.
3) finding identity and satisfaction in Christ alone: if you’ve read any of my previous posts you know that both identity and satisfaction are things that God has really been teaching me a lot about these past few months. He told this woman everything she had ever done and yet that it did not define her. He is offering LIVING WATER. He is the only source of satisfaction, the only thing that can fill the void in our hearts. when our lives are full of living water, then it begins to overflow, because once you’ve experienced the love and grace of Christ- how can you keep it to yourself? everything we do comes from an outpouring of the Spirit. i want my life to be filled with living water, overflowing in the grace and love of Christ.
tehehe i was so honored to have been nominated for this award by a dear friend- Becca. i don’t know very much about it as i am still figuring out all that lies in the wide world of blogging but this award is passed on to new and skilled bloggers by other bloggers.
as i mentioned, i was nominated for this award by Becca Distel. i really want to thank Becca for this nomination as it was such a pleasant surprise. i really admire Becca for sharing her story and her struggles with RA in such a public way. her strength and determination are so encouraging and she is just so sweet! it was actually reading her blog that inspired me to start my own blog back up again!
the five nominees i have chosen are:
1. A Voice Calling Out- Coralie is a good friend of mine and a wonderful woman of God with such a heart for serving the Lord. She’s in the midst of wedding planning and deciding what to do with her life post internship with CRU. i find her posts so down to earth and encouraging!
2. joshuadanielmorris- i’ve known jd pretty much my whole life, as our families were really close. he currently is a youth pastor in South Carolina. his blog is super encouraging as he shares things the Lord has put on his heart and sweet ways that He is working in the lives of students that jd works with.
3. of a childlike faith- Kristy is my roommate and good friend. she has a super cute blog that she uses to share her journeys of joining staff with CRU to planning a wedding and just life. i appreciate how real she is and her encouraging quotes!
4. travis ell- Travis is my neighbor and my roommate Kristy’s fiance! he is also joining staff with CRU and is just full of wonderful insight from the Lord. his blog is a hodgepodge of fun topics from what the Lord is teaching him to Dwight Howard and the Magic.
5. breeloverly- Breena is the wife of the pastor of Ember Church in Westerville and a dear friend and mentor of my friends Travis and Kristy. i love her blog because she is really funny, super down to earth, and she’s learning to sew! (which is an endeavor i am also embarking on!) so definitely check out her page for humorous (and sweet) stories, sewing projects, yummy recipes, and how the Lord is working in her life!
i feel super blessed to say that i have met all of these fellow bloggers in person =) which makes all their stories even more real to me. i encourage you to check them out because they are awesome and have such great insight and wisdom to impart!
Liebster Award Rules:
Thank your Liebster Blog Award presenter on your blog.
Link back to the blogger who presented the award to you.
Copy and paste the blog award on your blog.
Present the Liebster Blog Award to 5 blogs who you feel deserve to be noticed.
Let them know they have been chosen by leaving a comment at their blog
as i mentioned before, i am reading a book called Dating and Waiting by William P. Risk. this cleverly titled chapter followed the chapter on satisfaction, which i talked about in my last post. i must say i wasn’t really looking forward to this chapter- i am particularly impatient and i think our society continually grows in its intolerance of waiting. we live in a “i want it and i want it now” world. but as this chapter so artfully points out, waiting is the active practice of the faith we profess. we are to wait on the Lord. how do we wait? enduring the wait as though it were torture? weeping and moaning and crying out against God for unfairly testing our patience? or do we wait expectantly and confident in God’s love for us? certain that He is faithful to keep His promises? eager to see see hoe He will be pleased to act in our favor?
waiting christians do not shut themselves up in closets, cutting themselves off from life, refusing to emerge until they see God act. a christian who is waiting upon the Lord is a figure of faithful activity- praying, expectantly anticipating God’s action, not obsessed with his or her own unfulfilled desires but looking beyond the horizon of personal need, ministering to the needs of others.
how often i have gotten so caught up in my needs and desires that i fail to see the needs of those around me! in this time of waiting on the Lord, i want to be sensitive to the needs of others and open to the Lord’s calling to minister to them. the book talks about Hannah and her desire for a son and also the story of Abraham and Isaac. God promised Abraham and Sarah a son, that he would be the father of many nations, with descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky and the sand on the sea shore. but after over 10 years of waiting on the Lord to fulfill His promise, they take matters into their own hands- Abraham sleeps with Hagar and she gives birth to Ishmael. how often do we grow tired of waiting, despite Gods promises, and take matters into our own hands? God was faithful. Abraham and Sarah had a son, Isaac. but then the Lord asked for Abraham to sacrifice his promise, what he had waited so long for; God called for Abraham to sacrifice his only son. what did Abraham do? did he cry out against God? question His goodness? no, he remained faithful, believing that God would honor His promise- even if he couldn’t see how God would do so.
it was not Isaac’s life that God wanted but Abraham’s heart- and that is what He wants of us too. are we willing to wait patiently for God’s fulfillment of His promises to unfold? are we faithful enough to hold loosely the blessings that He does grant us and offer them back to Him, willing to wait and see how He will act next?
wow, to have the faith of Abraham… so often i find myself wanting the blessings of the Lord but not wanting to obey His commands. as i mentioned in some of the posts about my testimony, surrendering my life to Christ has been a gradual process. numerous times i thought i had surrendered my whole life, my whole heart, only to realize i was sorely mistaken. but the Lord is gracious, and while we might struggle with patience and waiting, the Lord is faithful in waiting for us. surrendering to the Lord and waiting on Him is something we must choose to do every single day. even though i don’t know what the future holds, i want to trust the Lord with each and every minute of every day, He is faithful and He will work all things together for my good, and yours too my friend.
i apologize for my log absence from the blogging world. clearly i have utterly failed at the 40 day challenge. the Lord has been so good to me the last several weeks gently teaching me and growing me as i wade into the waters of singleness. there is so much the Lord has put on my heart that i can’t wait to share with you but rather than dumping it on you all at once, i will select a small chunk and start there.
one of my mentors and dear friends, Michele, after crying and lamenting about how i have no idea how in the world to be single, gave me this book called Dating and Waiting by William P. Risk. and i honestly thought to myself- i’ve seriously read every Christian dating book out there, how can this one be any different? but i took it anyway and maybe its because of where i am now in life or because the book really is just awesome but God has used it to speak amazing truth into my life this past week! the first topic from this book i want to share with you is on- you guessed it- satisfaction. Risk includes this quote from Blaise Pascal:
all men seek happiness. there are no exceptions. however different the means they may employ, they all strive towards this goal…yet for very many years no one without faith has ever reached the goal at which everyone is continually aiming. all men complain: princes, subjects, nobles, commoners, old, young, strong, weak, learned, ignorant, healthy, sick, in every country, at every time, of all ages, and all conditions. a test which has gone on so long, without pause or change, really ought to convince us that we are incapable of attaining the good by our own efforts. but example teaches us very little… what else does this craving, and this helplessness, proclaim but that there was once in man true happiness, of which all that now remains is the empty print and trace? this he tries in vain to fill with everything around him, seeking in things that are not there the help he cannot find in those that are, though none can help, since this infinite abyss can be filled only with an infinite and immutable object; in other words, by God himself.
its been awhile since i really thought about from where i draw my satisfaction. what a reminder! we were created with every need satisfied, with no longing or desire unmet. but the fall of man left us with a void that only God himself can fill. how often have i forgotten that God alone can satisfy and sought satisfaction elsewhere in worldly things?
my goal in this time of singleness is to learn to find satisfaction in God alone. to seek Him above all else. He is all i need and until i allow Him to fill that void in my heart, nothing else could possibly come close to satisfying. what God has in store for me is so much greater than what i could ever imagine or dream for myself and i can’t wait to see how it all plays out in His perfect timing.
Risk says this: The wisest, wealthiest, most pleasured, most accomplished men who ever lived learned this from life: the things that God provides- wisdom, wealth, pleasures, and accomplishment- can be satisfying, but only when we recognize them as gifts from Him and only when it is He, the Giver, who is sought and not the gift itself.
“Jesus said to her, “Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks of the water I will give him will never be thirsty again. The water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”—–John 4:13-14
today I would like to honor Angie Haver (today was her birthday!) Angie is a long time family friend. she was a second mom, a dance teacher, and later a boss. she is one of the most genuine and honest people i’ve ever met. she cares for each and every student she teaches and her lessons go far beyond the classroom. words cannot explain how much she means to me and all that she’s done for me over the years. she is my go-to for advice in any area of life and one of by biggest supporters and i love her so much.
so many of you have probably seen the challenge on facebook called the 40 days of Honor and despite being a few days behind- i’m excited to begin this challenge.
today i would like to honor my dear friend and mentor Michele Davis. not only does Michele have one of the cutest kids ever, she also has one of the most sincere and loving hearts. her passion to see students come to know Jesus is contagious and inspiring and i am so lucky to have her in my life. the Lord has really used her in a lot in my life to speak truth and just offer guidance and training as i grow in ministry. she is a wonderful example of a Christian mother, wife and friend. i look forward to year of friendship in the years to come!
this past weekend we had a retreat for the women of Central Ohio campuses. our theme was La Liberté and we talked about what it is like to experience freedom in Christ. friday night after the talk we broke up into small groups and i was fortunate enough to be with a group of Otterbein girls who really took advantage of the time to be real and vulnerable with one another. it was such a joy getting to dive into their lives and be able to pray with them. saturday morning, each of the staff led a small group that focused on a area that they personally had struggled or are currently struggling to gain freedom. i chose to talk about identity. to help you all get to know me a little bit better, heres a little bit of what i shared with my girls:
starting at a very young age, i struggled to fit in. i had a hard time making and keeping friends and i was often the one in the group that got picked on or made fun of. as i got older this continued, despite being strong in my beliefs, i wanted to fit in and ended up compromising who i was. i liked the reaction i would get when i’d let a cuss word slip out of my mouth. people were shocked and seemed to like this “new” me. so i let it continue until the end of senior year. i really had very little in common with most of my friends in high school other than the classes we took so once we graduated they slipped away and so did that facade and i was left with a blank slate facing my freshman year of college and all the possibilities that would hold.
two weeks after i graduated i got the news that my parents were separating. so in the midst of what was already a period of self discovery the foundation i had in my family was being shook to the core. rather than deal with the identity crisis at hand, i threw myself into as much as possible. i got involved with OCF (a Christian organization on campus), teaching dance, met a bot, and began pledging a sorority. i was out of the house from 730am-2am most nights just to avoid it all.
being single again for the first time in three years, im faced again with a blank slate. which is both very exciting and very scary. in the midst of all my activities and relationships i had lost myself. and so now i begin the process of figuring out who i am. my hopes, my dreams, my fears.
i then chose to share with the girls my first post, perfect timing. how we respond to the Lord during these times determines everything. during this identity crisis we can either despair or seek the Lord. the clearer we see God the clearer we see ourselves. right now, i just want to seek the Lord knowing that i will find my true self in the process.
it would seem that the world is pretty divided today- for those in relationships it is valentine’s day and for those that are single it is singles awareness day. finding myself in the latter camp for the first time in three years, I needed an escape from the gushing and ranting that is taking place on social media today. I began exploring God’s Word in search of further affirmation of God’s love for me, today Jesus is my valentine. Looking at Song of Solomon as also being symbolic of our relationship with God, the following passage really stuck me today:
Solomon: you have captivated my heart, my sister, my bride; you have captivated my heart with one glance of your eyes, with one jewel of your necklace. how beautiful is your love, my sister, my bride! —–Song of Solomon 4:9-10
Bride: the voice of my Beloved! behold, He comes, leaping over the mountains, bounding over the hills. —–Song of Solomon 2:8
I have captivated His heart and I am a beautiful bride in His eyes! I want my response to be that of the bride- to know His voice before I can even see Him, to know that He is coming for me, over every mountain and molehill- I am worth the trek. I also have thought about a book near and dear to my heart, Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers. This book is a fictional retelling of the the book of Hosea and it is also symbolic of the way God pursues us. I love the book of Hosea, it is such a humbling reminder that I play the role of Gomer in that story, constantly sinning and being unfaithful, requiring Christ to bail me out of sin again and again. Despite my misguided ways, He continues to draw me to Him:
Therefore, behold, I will allure her, and bring her back into the wilderness, and speak tenderly to her. and there I will give her her vineyards and make the Valley of Achor a door of hope. and there she shall answer as in the days of her youth, as at the time when she came out of the land of Egypt. and in that day, declares the Lord, you will call me “My Husband”, and no longer call me “Master”. —– Hosea 2:14-16
I think right now God is in the midst of leading me into the wilderness, shaping me into the woman He wants me to be, His bride. O don’t know what the future holds but I know that My Husband will be walking right beside me. To wrap up, I want to leave you with a beautiful song by Tenth Avenue North that I feel perfectly depicts everything I’ve wanted to say today:
Love of My life
Look deep in My eyes
There you will find what you need
Give Me your life
The lust and the lies
The past you’re afraid I might see
You’ve been running away from Me
You’re My beloved
Lover I’m yours
Death shall not part us
It’s you I died for
For better or worse
Forever we’ll be
My Love it unites us
And it binds you to Me
It’s a mystery
Love of My life
Look deep in My eyes
There you will find what you need
I’m the Giver of life
I’ll clothe you in white
My immaculate bride you will be
Oh, come running home to Me
You’re My beloved
Lover I’m yours
Death shall not part us
It’s you I died for
For better or worse
Forever we’ll be
Our Love it unites us
and it binds you to Me
Well, you’ve been a mistress, My wife
Chasing lovers that won’t satisfy
Won’t you let Me make you My bride
You will drink of My lips
And you’ll taste new life
You’re My beloved
Lover I’m yours
Death shall not part us
It’s you I died for
For better or worse
Forever we’ll be
Our Love it unites us
And it binds you to Me
You’re My beloved
Lover I’m yours
Death shall not part us
It’s you I died for
For better or worse
Forever we’ll be
My Love it unites us
And it binds you to Me
It’s a mystery
the love and support of my friends and family this week has been amazing- God is doing so much in my life and i know He is using these people to minister to me. i received a facebook message from a friend named Lindsey. Lindsey and i grew up at the same church and she happened to stumble upon my blog and sent me a message of encouragement and sharing a little bit of her story. her story is AMAZING and i’d like to share it with you. check out this post on her blog that is super relevant to everything i’ve shared here and be sure to check out the rest of her blog too!
